There have been many days in my life when I assumed how an event would turn out. It would be glorious. I would enjoy every moment of a get together, a party, a trip to the local carnival, or the zoo.

Ha! Reality is a smack in the face when expectations are involved.

My life, like many of yours, may involve kids or a spouse. Maybe yours doesn’t contain either of those, but friends are family, or co-workers and a boss are around.

The reality of life hits hard

We took many trips to the zoo, and I had it all planned out. We’d pack the family in the car, take some snacks, enjoy a leisurely walk around the zoo, enjoy those snacks, and return home.

When I thought about how the day would evolve, made assumptions about the trip, and had expectations of how my kids would behave, it never involved the stress and chaos of the day.

I expected a trip to the zoo would be easy. My kids would be angels and we would all enjoy ourselves. They would be thankful and glad we went.

They were glad we went, but the angels never appeared and stress abounded.

Getting to the car was the start of it all. Does everyone have shoes, a jacket, or sunblock? Did you brush your hair and teeth? Did I bring enough snacks? Why are they yelling at each other? No, I’m not going to play a movie, the zoo is 20 minutes away.

As you can imagine, or maybe even relive, once at the zoo, there was an explosion of feet running, snacks smashed into clothes and all over faces, jumping in puddles, and sometimes drinking out of streams.

Nothing ever went smoothly, easily, or even enjoyably.

Why? My kids were being kids.

My reaction was often of frustration. I felt out of control and not able to keep the situation within the preformed boundaries I had planned.

I had expectations of them and the event

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

― Bruce Lee

I wanted my kids to act the way I wanted them to act, not the way they wanted to. I expected them to do what I asked them to do the second I asked. Not live in reality.

There’s the problem. I wanted. I expected. I assumed.

When you set expectations of others and activities. Failure is pretty much the only option.

Nothing will ever turn out exactly the way you want it to.

The problem starts when you envision how nicely the activity will turn out

When you predetermine the outcome, with expectations, it’s tough for everyone else to know the plan.

Maybe you’re able to share your thoughts down to the smallest detail. Even so, not everyone will comply.

You see the sight of everyone having fun, the sounds of laughter, the feelings of joy you’ll feel at how well it went. Those are what you want. Not necessarily what everyone else plans.

How do you react when your child doesn’t follow your predetermined plan? When the zoo turns into a pile of wet, food stained, and upset kids because you reacted with frustration?

Flexibility is the key. Flexibility from you.

When you’re flexible, you allow events to unfold. For life with all it’s twists and turns to take place.

You remain calm and in control of you. Never trying to control others or the situation.

Plan for the event and include contingencies. Know it’s not going to go the way you want. Some of it will. A big win. Most of it won’t. Know that going in and your life is much easier.

Why should you give up expectations?

“Expectations are premeditated resentments” — Unknown

Your happiness.

With expectations, you become stressed, angry, sad, or frustrated when the event implodes. Without them, you can take it in stride and deal with it.

When you become emotional (yes, anger is an emotion), the logical part of your brain starts to switch off and you make decisions based on those rising emotions.

If you chose a course of action while emotional, it often results in poor decisions and outcomes. You create a negative environment for yourself and those around you.

Think of how many times in the last week every day has gone exactly like you expected.

How did you react?

To increase your ability to relax, enjoy your life, and look forward to outings, interactions, and trips, let go of your expectations.

Keep an open mind and relax, enjoy what’s happening

There are few times when everything goes as planned. If you don’t have expectations, whatever happens will be fine.

When things go well you’ll be riding the high and enjoying the process.

When you can enjoy what happens, good, bad, or indifferent, you’ll enjoy life a lot more. You’ll also be more excited when things do turn out the way you had imagined.